Today, being the anniversary of my sister’s arrest (four years?), I would like to present you all with the story of what went down in San Diego on that fateful day…in case you weren’t following me for the initial telling.
Happy Anniversary, Alyson.
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A few years ago, during a visit with my parents in upstate New York, I shuffled down to the breakfast table to find my mother and father looking extremely distressed. When I asked them what was the matter, my father responded, “Your sister was arrested last night.” After a fit of uncontrollable laughter, it occurred to me that perhaps something serious had happened. I paused mid-laugh and asked what she had done. My mother responded, head in hands, “She was arrested for public drunkenness.” My laughing fit resumed at a much higher volume.
The following are key points related to my sister’s evening as an inmate:
1. Alyson was originally detained for jaywalking, sloppily, in the middle of the street. She was picked up by the cops and driven to what is commonly known as a “drunk tank,” with a handful of other intoxicated subjects, wearing only shorts and a bikini top.
2. While in the drunk tank, Alyson met a new friend, and together their blood alcohol level caused them to find the entire setting so hilarious that they were overtaken by hysterical laughter. When the guard told them to stop laughing, they laughed harder. She had them arrested and brought to a proper jail.
3. Due to her bikini attire, Alyson was given a police-issued t-shirt to wear for her mugshot. Just before the picture was taken, she made a pouty face.
4. Once in the jail cell, surrounded by several other girls (most detained for things far worse than laughing), Alyson attempted to incite a riot, shouting at them that this was “not fair,” and they should “start a revolution.”
5. When given her one phone call, Alyson decided that she was going to call the cops to report this injustice. She attempted, unsuccessfully, to dial 911 from the pay phone. She tried to call the cops…on the cops.
Ladies and gentleman: my sister.
3 years ago i was being released from jail. and this is why.
