December 2010
29 posts
“i’m moving to los angeles. in a few hours.”
– laying in bed drinking coffee looking up weird/awesome shit on the internet and avoiding “important” things like, packing.
1 tag
shoveling is a sport: the snow ALWAYS wins.
i knew i would wake up today feeling like i bungee jumped with no cord. yesterday was the first time i had even looked at a shovel, let alone used one, in years. as soon as i woke up and realized my car was buried 58 feet under snow, i knew i had to act like an athlete to get it out.
shoveling is like a sport. but worse. its the only sport where you have no chance of winning. the only thing...
Everyone is Gay: PERSONAL POST PATURCHRISTMASDAY →
everyoneisgay:
Dannielle Says:
I would like to take this opportunity to talk about the girl below me (sick) Kristin Russo. Sometimes I read the things she writes and LOL so hard it is ACTUALLY embarrassing. Then I’m like ‘ugh, she’s so funny, and pretty and smart and good at giving advice and WHO AM I ANYWAY…
this is sad.
anyway.
i love my sister, more than santa loves children.
i...
1 tag
twis the night before christmas. not twas. twis....
twis the night before christmas, when all through the house
my parents cat is a devil creature and we don’t have a mouse.
the stockings are stuffed with fluff and hung by the chimney with care,
in hopes that the fat man in the red suit soon would be there.
i’m sure somewhere children are all snuggled up gross in their beds
while visions of sugar-plums, moose and dragons danced in...
1 tag
if i had my own tree, these are the only two...
1 tag
“the devil is inside my parents cat.”
– the encyclopedia might as well be the source because its fucking true and i’m going to die. fuck. she was just STARING AT ME without saying a WORD while i was getting two RICE CAKES. what the fuck you want bitch.
adventures in la la land: it begins. →
randomly & suddenly moving to los angeles. i figured i should probably document the entire experience. because why not, right?
stupid fucking tree.
these getting redundant yet? yea, i bet. sorry. well, no i’m not. i have to keep the holiday spirit alive. this card is for anyone who has had a tree tied to the top of their car in the past month, but especially to the fucking assholes who got a box out of the garage/attic/etc and put together their fake tree, branch by branch. stupid. fucking. tree.
santa is not real: sorry kids. and by sorry i...
here’s the thing with this one; this card is for baby’s first christmas alright? you give this to every fucking baby you know because you need to teach them young that santa is NOT fucking real. do you want to be the asshole that is a LIAR to your son/daughter/nephew/niece/grandchild/etc etc…?
for years on end, every year people sneak around to do all their holiday shopping and...
1 tag
alcoholidays: the way they should be.
i can’t remember the last time i have actually, celebrated a holiday for what it actually is. i mainly just use it as an excuse to either be a lazy worthless human being, eat more than my body can even rightly consume and/or drink to the point of oblivion. i put and/or in there because 10/10 times its the combination of all three things. it’s nice though sometimes, to have week long...
1 tag
shut the fuck up and open it.
this card is for those annoying assholes that take 2 hours just to start untying the bow:
“oh you shouldn’t have….” oh yea?, WELL I FUCKING DID.
“oh my! i wonder what this is” (shakes box) how about you stop fucking wondering and open the god damn thing.
“IS THIS WHAT I WANTED!! IS THIS WHAT I WANTED!!!!!” die. just die if you are one of these...
1 tag
another cruise ship filled with fucking idiots....
HERE WE GO AGAIN…. apparently, and when i say apparently i mean, fucking obviously there were weather conditions that bumped into this ship. first of all, you’re in the fucking atlantic ocean. in the dead of winter. what do you expect?
another troubled cruise ship.
it’s like spamcation all over again, except this one was headed to egypt and the “members” aboard...
tis the season to play with balls.
unfortunately i have been pressed for time this year due to sudden change of life plans and was unable to have these printed as real holiday cards. i appreciate the holidays and all but i don’t appreciate the shitty cards they offer. i figured we probably need some inappropriate ones. which is how these (& the hanukkah ones). came about. anyway. since i’m pretty sure today is the start...
i understand the difference between wants & needs....
i’m hungover & can’t move so i’m googling awesome things, like these pez dispensers. i need ALL of them. ahhhhhhhhhh. so cool.
"lost in america" →
randomly, and very suddenly, i am moving to LA. literally, within the next few weeks. so, i am leaving this link, to anyone who wants to read how this all began in the first place. me & my friend road tripped here, summer ‘09 and blogged the whole thing. after spending nearly two years in new york, it’s finally time to go home to my palm trees and burritos. i’m probably not...
Christmas Request: Denied
reverendrusso:
Me: Mom, this is what Alyson says she wants for Christmas:
Mom: I saw that on face book, but I think once she has it – one night she will be terrified of it, and there goes $70.00 – see what else she would like.
:(
1 tag
fuck the fucking first amendment.
“Freedom of speech is the freedom to speak freely without censorship or limitation, or both.”
so. freedom of speech? i’m sorry. i don’t believe this even exists in america. and i’m not going to fucking capitalize america because i don’t think it deserves to be in this post. maybe if i was talking about ABE LINCOLN i would say he was the president of AMERICA....
this is what happens when tumblr goes down for a...
everyone has bad days. everyone goes through stress. everyone gets confused by life. and blah blah fucking blah. if there is one thing we can all agree on its that we all have to deal with shit. and that’s life.
“everything happens the way its supposed to.” yea. we’ve all heard it. and i always live by that. but sometimes things get so fucking stressful that you just want...
1 tag
you have got to be fucking shitting me.
“Something is technically wrong.
Thanks for noticing—we’re going to fix it up and have things back to normal soon.”-twitter
FIRST TUMBLR. NOW TWITTER. WHATS NEXT? THE ENTIRE WORLD WIDE WEB?
1 tag
happy fucking holidays. sorry mom.
so i have a dry erase board, a giant one. and every year i write the entire san diego chargers schedule, along with a picture. this year i decided to draw philip rivers. my mom happened to see this the other day and asked if i drew it and i said yeah and that was it. i didn’t think much of it.
today i come home to find their entire house decorated in holiday shit, literally every square...
