February 2012
13 posts
January 2012
6 posts
Alyson's New Year's Resolutions
reverendrusso:
1. kill arnold schwarzenegger
2. win nobel peace prize
3. turn my hands into ice cream cones at least once
4. give obama a boner
5. eat more candy
6. say the word ‘fuck’ more often
7. discover a new planet
8. become mexican
9. become an indian chief
10. become an eskimo
11. become asian
12. get some swag
13. die
14. train a dolphin to butt fuck a whale
15. become a...
December 2011
9 posts
'tis the season to shut the fuck up
here we are again. another year. full of cheerful mother fuckers that i can’t stand. everyone thinks it’s all of a sudden acceptable to start conversations with strangers just because it’s around the holidays. i’d like to think i’m pretty consistent in the way i act throughout the year. i mean, i didn’t want to talk to you in august. so i certainly don’t...
November 2011
8 posts
i'll have a slice of lies with extra cheese
i’m hungover as fuck and thought i could use this time to complain about the government for being a lying sack of shit.
first of all.
you can’t just say something is something it’s not because you want to put taxes on it. i hate bringing up the past but whoever declared the tomato a vegetable in 1893 needs to die, if they haven’t already done so. i’m sure they have...
things i've googled recently:
flights to antarctica
antarctica travel information
ignoring root canal
what happens if i ignore a root canal?
thomas edison
wiki-how to give a root canal
old people gambling
caesars head statue
pigeons
pigeons eyes
kwanzaa
eaten by whale
person eaten by whale
gepetto eaten by whale
gepetto
pinocchio
ostrich
ordering jail mugshots
how to obtain your mugshot
how to get mugshot
...
October 2011
2 posts
September 2011
4 posts
Once Upon a Mugshot. →
kristinnoeline:
Today, being the anniversary of my sister’s arrest (four years?), I would like to present you all with the story of what went down in San Diego on that fateful day…in case you weren’t following me for the initial telling.
Happy Anniversary, Alyson.
—-
A few years ago, during a visit with my parents in upstate New York, I shuffled down to the breakfast table to find my ...
August 2011
13 posts
just another idea.
since i pretty much hate anyone who has the ability to speak, i am constantly thinking of ways to avoid unexpected and unwanted conversations.
if we introduced a new system to the world, a system similar to the average cell phone plan, it would benefit everyone. well, maybe not everyone.
of course there would be the percentage of people who disagreed and would find it necessary to start a...
fucking idiots being dumb as shit. again.
Labrador Retrievers are known for their hunting skills and friendly dispositions, but Beau, a black Lab who lives in Montana, is winning acclaim for his math abilities.
as if declaring dolphins as “non-human persons” last year wasn’t absurd enough.
now we have a dog who’s good at math?
NO. YOUR DOG IS NOT GOOD AT MATH.
HE’S GOOD AT BARKING, you asshole.
...
